


Words are hard and there are only so many Ways to misinterpret a Hug

by Nad98



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, But very good at hugging and that's the plot, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Multi, Queerplatonic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Touch-Starved Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Touch-Starved Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Touch-Starved Deceit | Janus Sanders, Touching, Touchy-Feely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27776629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nad98/pseuds/Nad98
Summary: Logan is professional. Logan is efficient. Logan does not do emotions.That is at least the impression the Dark Sides have of him. But when things start to cool down after the wedding, they get to know another side of their teacher; the touchy and affectionate side.And that leads to old feelings being revived and new ones to form.
Relationships: Anxiety & Creativity & Dark Creativity & Deceit & Logic & Morality (Sanders Sides), Anxiety | Virgil/Dark Creativity | Remus/Deceit | Janus/Logic | Logan (Sanders Sides), Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 77
Kudos: 135





	1. Chapter 1

It was the same night of the wedding when Virgil first noticed something new about Logan. It was when he walked down the stairs in the dead of the night, in the hope of avoiding all the others and grab himself some food after this stressful day, when he heard Patton whimpering in the living room.

Almost Virgil turned on his heels before he thought better of it and quietly walked down.

“I am so, so so-orry, Lo! I- I-”

Virgil stopped for a moment. Then he walked quicker towards the living room and glanced carefully around the door’s edge. Patton stood in front of the couch and Logan across from him. His arms were crossed over his chest while Patton buried his face in his hands.

“I messed up big time and I-I hurt Thomas and Roman and you-u… I – I couldn’t talk to Ro… I – I didn’t- I love him so much and you too and Thomas and everything’s terrible and-”

Another whimper stopped Patton from continuing. Virgil felt a pang of pain in his chest and watched as Logan uncrossed his arms and let them dangle laxly by his side. The teacher looked tense and opened his mouth before closing it again and-

And very gently putting his hands on Patton’s wrists. With almost no force he guided Patton’s hands away from his face and ever so carefully let them fall into his. Patton sniffled and looked Logan in the eyes.

Virgil was not sure what Patton could see from his vantage point but to him Logan’s expression seemed concerned and tired. Again, he opened his mouth only to close it once more and tenderly let his hands slip out of Patton’s to softly brush over Patton’s arms and gently put them around his shoulder. Patton leaned into the embrace and buried his head on Logan’s shoulder.

A minute passed. Then another one. And another.

Virgil lost count of the minutes and slowly backed away. He went back to his room and stared at his ceiling for a long while. He didn’t know why but the way Logan had moved, had let his hands stroke over Patton’s arms it had felt to him like an offer of truce. The raising of a white flag. The admission that Logan wasn’t fine yet, that he hadn’t quite forgiven Patton yet, but that he didn’t want to fight Patton. That he knew he hadn’t meant to hurt them. That he believed him he would do better.

The tenderness haunted Virgil. The ease and naturalness to his actions stirred something in him and slowly more and more little gestures, little touches like those came back to him. The way how Logan leaned against Patton in the morning when he made his coffee, how he fixed Roman’s hair when they were discussing in the evening or how he tended to take the sleeves of Patton’s cardigan or Roman’s sash when they talked to him about something of their interest at the end of a long week.

Virgil had never actively noticed those things before. In the videos they couldn’t really interact and for the longest time Virgil had tried to keep to himself and not mingle too much with Roman, Patton and Logan. He didn’t want to grow fond of a family for the second time only to lose them again, he had decided bitterly.

But things had looked up after he got accepted and until recently, he had actually hoped he wouldn’t have to go through breakups and arguments again and tried to connect with the light sides and they welcomed him in their midst and it was nice until-

Until Janus showed up and brought Remus with him. Until they had to throw everything awry and-

And reminded Thomas of the fact that he was a mess. That he needed help. Both Thomas and Virgil himself.

It was too late to think about it more, Virgil decided and laid down on his bed. Tomorrow was another day. Another chance for him to fuck up a little less than the day before. Another chance to try and comfort Pat and maybe talk to Roman. And maybe figure out if Logan had other weird touchy habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This happened because of a post I made and the little [post](https://mimssides.tumblr.com/post/636059991751688192/yes-yes-youre-a-saint-thats-it-thats) on tumblr and the lovely Crow responded with a ficlet to it and I just had to make my own after that.
> 
> And that's what this is. Me just wanting Logan to get love and hug people and not project at all^^
> 
> If you wanna talk to me just come and say 'hi' on my tumblr [mimssides](https://mimssides.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Now, please take care and have a wonderful day❤️ Love y'all❤️❤️❤️


	2. Chapter 2

Janus didn’t sleep well that night. He had been ecstatic after Thomas listened to him for the very first time in years. Maybe even for the first time ever, since it had been the first time that Thomas actually was aware that it was him who made a suggestion. And it felt great. Amazing even. In that moment at least.

Then reality had to hit and he was back in the Mindscape watching Patton ponding against the twins’ door and crying and pleading for Roman to open and please just let him talk to him. Coldly reminded of the truth he went back into the lounge in the cellar, where he expected to find Remus. But there was no Remus in sight, which was rather unusual since the Duke was always eager to hear him talk about what idiocy the others had in store and made fun of them to cheer Janus up. But now there was no Duke.

Guilt. The comparison. Remus could take on about anything. Just not the shattered and twisted relationship with his brother.

Stupid Janus. Who was idiotic now? Who was the fool now?

Saddened he had gone to bed next and tossed and turned for the whole night without getting as much as an hour of sleep. His stomach felt crampy and his guts hurt in a way that should not be allowed but there he was. In pain and alone because he could not shut his mouth.

Which led to him getting up early and hiding in the shadows of the Mindscape and observing the others, as he often did in the past. Quietly he stuck close to the walls as Patton opened the door. He looked like he had cried quite a bit but it didn’t seem so dire as it had been the last night. He looked back into his room over his shoulder and –

Logan followed him out of his room. The teacher yawned and gave Patton a side hug, which made the latter smile.

“You’re gonna try and talk to him?” Patton asked quietly.

Logan just nodded and released Patton from the hug. Patton nodded back and was about to walk towards the kitchen, as Logan heartily patted his back as a sign of reassurance. Patton smiled a bit more, more genuine, and then left, while Logan walked towards the twins’ door.

Closely Janus kept an eye on him and watched how he rhythmically knocked on the door four times. Nothing happened. Logan repeated the pattern. Again nothing. Another repetition. No reaction. And the fourth time knocking pointlessly, Janus thought.

But the doorknob turned and the face of the miserable prince appeared.

“Tell Pat I- I don’t know. Just say I didn’t open the door or something. I can’t-”

“You can. He’s sorry and he just wants to see that you’re eating. Don’t lock yourself out.”

Roman huffed and looked to the side. Just a second longer and he would have slammed the door shut in front of Logan’s face.

But then Logan’s hand raised up to Roman’s cheek and he turned him to face him. Janus heart stopped, as the logical side carefully leaned his head forward and oh so carefully met Roman’s forehead. Logan’s other hand landed on Roman’s shoulder and Janus saw how he rhythmically drew circles with his thumb.

Flabbergasted Janus watched as Roman’s shoulders sagged down just a little and he placed his hands on Logan’s hip for a minute. The sound of almost silent crying. With the delicacy of a clockmaker Logan brushed away the wet spots on Roman’s cheek and then they gently parted.

“I’ll be there in a moment. Just getting dressed,” Roman said and Logan squeezed his shoulder before he let him get back into his room.

Logan then turned and got back on his way to the kitchen blissfully unaware of Janus’s flushed face in the shadows and his racing heart. What had that been?! This display of affection and gentleness from Logan had caught him completely off guard. And judging of how natural this seemed to come to Logan, Janus now knew exactly why the others had caught on so quickly when he had impersonated Logan before. This changed what he had believed to have known about the teacher and he felt his insides squirm and turn in ways he refused to recognize.

As the door clicked Janus gulped and retreated back into his room. He didn’t want to face Roman right now. And he _totally wasn’t_ in need of some time to collect himself. Of course not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, yay! Next comes Remus angst😁
> 
> Love y'all! Please take care and have a wonderful day💖


	3. Chapter 3

Remus didn’t care about being good. Didn’t care about being helpful. It was his gimmick to create chaos and make noise when he- Thomas felt terrible. That’s what he was for.

But that didn’t make him evil. It didn’t make him worthless.

That’s at least what he had told himself for years and years. What Virgil used to tell him when they still had been friends. What Janus had told him for the bigger part of their lives.

Remus thought that he believed it by now. That he wouldn’t need the reassurance anymore. But after last night- No, after the last weeks of Janus telling him to shut up way more often than he ever did before, after Janus caring more about planning to get accepted by Thomas than spending time with him, after being called the ‘evil’ twin by his ~~best~~ no, who was he kidding, _only_ friend, he just wanted someone to tell him that Janus lied. He just wanted him to have lied once in his life. He would even pray if it helped.

But Remus knew it wouldn’t help. Nobody would tell him in this godless universe that he had worth anymore. He had finally been abandoned and buried himself deeper in the covers of his bed. The sheets were warm but his skin itched and carved for another warmth, Remus wouldn’t get. Maybe never again.

He laid there for hours. Or minutes. Or second. Or days. Or years.

Time was a stupid concept anyway. The passage of time was of no importance for a figment of the imagination. He existed in a space where time was so much laxer than reality so why even bother keeping track of it?

“Remus?”

Remus stiffened in his bed. He didn’t have the nerve for his brother right now.

“Rem?”

Roman’s voice was closer now and he sounded concerned. For a moment Remus thought about just playing dead. That might scare him away.

“Rem, I am coming to your side now. You haven’t moved since last night and I’m getting worried.”

“And I thought you weren’t a liar,” Remus muttered and pulled the covers even more over his head.

“So, you’re alive at least,” Roman said almost audibly rolling his eyes.

Remus felt how Roman sat down on the end of the bed. Roman put his hand on where he believed Remus’s leg was and Remus shivered involuntarily under the touch through the sheets.

“Are you okay, man?”

Remus didn’t want to cry in front of anyone. It did not bother him if they called him weird or obnoxious or inappropriate. Those were things he actually was and was proud of being. But he was not proud of being sensitive. Of being hurt. Of being weak.

And so, he tried to be quiet. To not make a noise. To not let Roman hear him cry.

But sadly, quiet was not a thing Remus could do and it didn’t take Roman ten seconds to pull away the sheets and put his hand on Remus’s back. It was electrifying and Remus yelped being unable to stop himself from yanking forwards against Roman and pulling him into a hug. Remus wasn’t sure if Roman protested. It was quite possible that he did. But it wasn’t hard enough for Remus to let go and he decided that Roman probably had given up on pushing him away. Resigned to his fate as his hugging pillow.

Time was tricky and Remus had lost track of it completely. When he finally felt Roman drawing circles on his back and heard him humming the melody of a lullaby, he didn’t know how much time had passed.

Probably too much time. Stubbornly, Remus forced himself to part from Roman silently sat back on his bed. His skin itched. Roman didn’t say anything and Remus shuffled a bit around and eventually sat down on the bed’s edge next to his brother.

“So, everything fine again in light sides land?” Remus asked.

Roman sighed and Remus watched how he pinched the bridge of his nose and then drove tiredly over his face.

“No, it’s not. I – I’m still angry at Pat but I know that he’s not doing this on purpose and we’ll talk about it this afternoon, I guess.”

Remus cackled a little and Roman threw him a stink eye before they fell back into silence.

“Are you upset about Janus?”

Remus sniffed and stared down to his knees.

“I’m pretty sure they’ll have him come to dinner tonight to clear things up between us. I can talk to him for y-”

“No word to him or the others. You will not say a word to him about me. Otherwise you’ll regret it.”

Roman eyed his brother for a few seconds. The pain and anger in his eyes were far too obvious to overlook. But the way he shivered slightly gave Roman an insight into his brother’s state of mind. It wasn’t a nice one.

Quietly he gave the promise to Remus and then left Remus’s side of the room again, as the latter requested.

No words to the others, he had said. He really hoped that someone would ask about Remus or he would have to deal with his brother’s wrath, since that breakdown of him seemed to be quite serious and someone needed to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter for my bees! I hope you enjoy the angst😏😜
> 
> Anyway, love y'all, take care and have a wonderful day❤️


	4. Chapter 4

The air was tense. Virgil sat on the back lean of the couch crossing his arms. Roman sat to his left on the couch looking down to his hands, while Logan stood to their right his look fixed on the hallway where Patton and Janus would come through. At least if Patton was to succeed and get Janus out of his room.

“Oh, don’t make such a face! It’s gonna be fine,” they heard Patton say and Virgil carefully watched the entrance.

“I cannot fathom how you still _don’t_ believe that yourself,” they heard Janus answer and just then the two sides walked into their field of vision.

Janus halted. He looked directly at Virgil, who stared right back at him with a blank expression. Of course, he would be here as well. Of course. This was a meeting the _Light Sides_ had called him for. And Virgil was one of them.

Quickly, Janus lifted his chin a little and tried to feign an untouched look, which only earned him a huff from the anxious side.

“Afraid I’d bite you, Dee? Or what was that expression about?” Virgil teased humourlessly.

Janus couldn’t use this snark right now. He was in no state to deal with it. But alas he had too and decided to be more careful this time. Not to say something he would regret.

“Just surprised by the welcome committee, dear Virgil. Nothing else.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows but didn’t reply and Janus finally followed Patton over to the couch. Warily he eyed Logan who remained standing and gave him a curious look. He had astoundingly blue eyes, Janus’s mind remarked brilliantly and Janus felt his human side flush. Great. That would not be a problem at all.

To his luck Patton cleared his throat and pulled the attention over to him, so he could get his mind off of Logan for a moment. Quietly, he watched as Patton put his arm on Roman’s back and then looked to the three left-brained sides with a weak smile, while Roman still looked down into his lap.

“So, uhm,” Patton began lastly looking to Logan before focusing back on Janus, “we thought that it might be a good idea to see where we’re standing right now. What are the things we will need to work on and mind while talking to the others? I’m not asking of anyone to apologize or forgive just yet or ever but I do believe we should be on the same page so we can continue working with one another. For Thomas’s sake at least. Would that be alright with everyone?”

Roman nodded and Logan agreed with an “Affirmative”. Virgil grumbled something like a yes and Janus found himself nodding and said: “ _Doesn’t_ work with me at all.”

Patton smiled a tiny bit more genuine and took a deep breath.

“So, I think, I should start, since I created a lot of this whole chaos. So, I have apologized to Roman for giving him a lot of mixed messages and making him feel abandoned and betrayed. I will work on it and I know you have your needs and wants and I will be more accepting and supportive of them in the future.”

Roman nodded again and Janus noted how his shoulders relaxed a little under Patton’s hand before Patton continued talking gently: “I have also apologized to Virgil for not listening more to his concerns and not taking him seriously enough. I also asked of him to maybe open up about what happened between him and you, Janus, so we work on that as well, but we can let you do that on your own if that’s what you want. And I also have apologized to Logan for making him feel like his points don’t have a place in our conversation if it’s not for the benefit of Thomas’s well-being. You’re always welcome to chime in, buddy and I am sorry I made you feel otherwise.”

“Me too,” it came weakly from Roman.

Janus watched intently as Roman looked up for a moment and locked eyes with Logan with honest guilt in his eyes. Good for the teacher, Janus bitterly thought. Then Roman looked back down to his lap and inhaled a bit of air. The others all waited knowing quite well that he was about to speak next.

“I’m sorry for being needlessly harsh and lashing out so much,” Roman said painfully truthful Janus realized. “I’ll try to get better. But I’m not ready to forgive yet but I can accept the apology so I hope that counts for something.”

“It does. It really does, Roman,” Patton reaffirmed and Janus got a glimpse of a little grin from the prince as he leaned a little more against Patton’s side.

“Thanks, padre. I’m-” Roman stopped and looked up to Janus – “I don’t know how I feel about you. I don’t know what I want right now or what I am supposed to believe and I feel like whatever you’re saying is to manipulate me after I tried to advocate for your point back in the courtroom. I’ll accept that you’re one of us, that Thomas wants you and that you have things to deliver to the table. I just don’t know how to trust you and I’m not sure if I want to trust you ever after everything. But I will admit that I should not hav-”

“It’s fine, Roman.”

Janus gulped. The laughing had stung. But it had never warranted the response Janus had given. Not in a million years. Not that Roman could know that. Not that the others could but Janus understood that he had shot a man with a canon who had been throwing stones.

Roman huffed and shrugged letting his argument drop for the moment. It was probably for the better.

A stretch of silence dragged itself along and Janus began to feel antsy. This was not his territory of choice and he had a hard time to navigate himself through this meeting. Almost ironically, it was Virgil who freed them all from the awkward silence.

“I respect the name reveal. I respect you looking out for Thomas. I AM on Roman’s side about trusting you, but I will talk with you if you promise to never pull such a fuckery again and disguise yourself as one of us to get your agenda across.”

Janus could have cried. Right there and then. Virgil talked directly with him, no name calling, no false accusations.

But he didn’t cry. He could not lose face right now.

But he had to answer.

“Thank you. I will refrain from disguising myself. And I apologize for the impersonating I did before and for the harsh, well, departure I forced you to take. It was not my best move,” Janus said quietly eyeing Logan as he said the last apology.

To his surprise Logan just raised his eyebrows, sat down next to him and put his hand on his thigh. Oh god. Logan’s hand. On Janus’s thigh. And he patted him for a second. Janus could just have melted on the spot.

“It was stupid indeed,” Logan said but Janus barely registered any of it. “And I am looking forward to work with you, if you can keep the lying to a minimum. I know that you cannot completely work without it but maybe we would be able to find a satisfactory compromise.”

“Do you count ‘white lies’ as lies as well? Because if so, I might have different bargaining grounds than you do,” Janus said weakly trying to hide his flush.

“I do consider ‘white lies’ as lies but they were not the thing I was most concerned about. It’s more that I have sometimes difficulties to make out when you speak in opposites or sarcasm in general. It makes it a lot harder for me to follow and complicates our communication considerably,” Logan explained slightly confused but apparently unaware of why Janus was so flustered.

Could sides melt? Janus felt like he would have melted by now if sides could do so. The innocence in his voice and the honesty in his words were endearing and there was still the hand on his thigh. This gosh darn hand. Since when did touching him feel like this? Since when did it feel so intense?

“Kiddo, I think you’re forgetting about personal space again.”

At once Logan’s hand was gone and there was a second of white noise in Janus’s ears. Oh, not being touched was a lot worse. Horrific. Miserable even.

“I apologize! It slips my mind when a lot of stressors are around,” Logan apologized.

Janus nodded and blinked a few times to refocus himself.

“ _Do_ \- I mean – don’t bother. I am used to sides invading my personal space,” Janus deflected, repressing the sudden realisation that Remus hadn’t invaded his personal space in weeks.

Patton and Roman watched the two curiously. Both seemed a little distracted, Logan by the fact that he forgot his hard-earned manners and Janus by the sudden touch he somehow had been too shy to point out to Logan. It concerned Patton a little since both usually tried to be unreadable individuals and this display was quite unusual. Roman on the other hand thought that this could get quite interesting and put that information carefully beside the little pang of romantic jealousy and yearning he had sensed coming from their little emo, when Logan had touched Janus.

This could get quite interesting indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Talking! Blushy Janus! Jealous Virgil! And guilty feelings because of neglected Remus!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it😬
> 
> Anyway, love y'all, take care and have a wounderful day❤️


	5. Chapter 5

Janus slid a little to the side even though his instincts told him to stay. Logan remained where he was but did not seem to mind Janus’s retreat too much. Which was good because it meant he was not upset about his reaction, Janus told himself despite feeling a sour taste in his mouth.

No time to dwell on it. Janus cleared his throat and looked over to Roman. They would have some work to do to build a functional relationship but Janus had to trust that Roman would talk to him nevertheless. After all, Roman was the only one who had to spend as much time with Remus as Janus had in the past.

“It is a bit off topic but would you know where Remus is? I have not seen him since before the wedding,” Janus dared to ask.

Roman blinked and sat up. Straightened his back and eyed Janus for a long moment. This couldn’t be good, Janus thought to himself and clenched his fists.

And then Roman simply shrugged.

Confused Janus asked: “Do you not know where he is?”

Roman pressed his lips together and shrugged again. Janus’s confusion vanished a second later and was replaced with a sudden surge of dread.

“What did he make you promise him?” Janus hissed.

Roman sighed and drove with his hand over his eyes. He was happy enough that Janus got this far but now he feared that Remus would not react kindly to Janus suddenly turning up. Remus could be vicious when irritated and he was at rock bottom right now. This could turn out to be ugly.

“Roman. What is with him? Is he hurt? Just tell me if he’s physically well or not!”

He had been a little unfocused there, hadn’t he? Roman directed his attention back to Janus, who looked a little panicked by now. It was probably for the best to tell him that Remus wasn’t hurt or the snake might be tempted to bite him.

“He’s not injured.”

Janus’s expression changed rapidly from panicky to concerned and he gripped the fabric of his trousers and clenched his fists. It was the truth. Janus knew Roman said the truth. But that meant that Remus was otherwise unwell and that was by far more concerning than Janus wanted it to be.

“Is he in your room? Can I go to him?”

For a second Roman just blankly stared at him before he gave a nod and said: “You’re welcome to go.”

At that Janus was up on his feet and was gone a moment later.

Now Janus was gone but the tension was still quite present and it was silent enough to hear a needle drop onto the floor. Logan clearing his throat was almost too loud and all the attention effortlessly shifted over to him.

“Do you suspect Remus to lash out towards Janus?”

Roman pressed his lips into a thin line before he admitted to Logan: “I’m afraid so. He’s really not okay. But he doesn’t want my help and while he’s really mad at the fiendish fibber I think they’d ought to talk it out.”

“Do you really think Remus is going to be rational about this and talk to him?” Virgil asked in disbelieve.

Roman tilted his head slightly to the side indicating his doubts but just responded: “Look, we both know the answer is no, but I really am not in the mood to safe the snake’s butt and-”

“Shall I go and ensure that Janus will not take any bodily harm?”

Roman blinked for a second before he raised his eyebrows at Logan’s proposal. That came rather fast from the usually so collected side. Well, what emotions could do to one was always fascinating to observe, wasn’t it?

“Sure. Go nuts, teach. The door ’s open,” Roman said and just like that Logan was gone as well.

* * *

Logan had expected that he might be met with some sort of chaos when he entered the twins’ room, but almost being hit by a knife flying close by his face was a bit more than he had expected. Luckily the sharp object missed and Logan got to enter quietly and then absorbed the scene. Janus was across the room, hands held up, clearly dishevelled and his hat fallen off his head. Remus stood close to the hallway, only wearing a rather ripped white shirt with paint stains on it and summoning shuriken after shuriken and throwing them at Janus.

Curiously Logan observed how Janus ducked and tried, and failed, to calm Remus down so he could apologize properly. But Remus didn’t leave him a chance. He didn’t shout or scream, he just grunted as he threw sharp object after sharp object towards the snake.

Janus was behaving rather illogically in Logan’s opinion. They were imaginary beings and could just easily fix the damage that Remus’s weapons would do to them instead of trying to dodge them. But on the other hand, Janus was the perfect distraction so Logan could to inspect Remus. The duke was paler than usually and he appeared thinner than the last time Logan had seen him. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair looked unkempt and unwashed. His movements were stiffer and seemed heavy-handed now that Logan focused on them and he realized that Remus’s outburst was hurting himself more than it could possibly hurt Janus.

Determined Logan stepped towards Remus, catching him completely off guard by the sides and just grabbed his wrists.

“SToP iT yOu TWAt!” Remus cried and Logan saw how tears shot in his eyes.

Violently Remus tried to free himself but Logan resisted silently and watched the realisation in Remus’s face that he could not break free and suddenly stilled.

Logan waited for a moment before he ever so softly said to him: “I will not stop. I do not want you to hurt yourself.”

Remus’s expression saddened and the tears which had collected themselves on the edges of his eyes spilled over his cheeks. Logan wanted to say a few words of comfort as Remus let the shuriken fall and yanked himself against his chest, holding forcefully onto him, pressing his head into the crook of his neck and sobbed against his shocked form.

Poison. Choking on poison. Burning poison in his throat. Rushing through his veins. Eating him from the inside and dissolving him into sludge.

Logan yapped for air and put his arms around Remus’s back. Let him lean against him. Picked him up as his legs gave in and held him like a little child. Rocked him forth and back and didn’t say a thing as Remus stroked his neck, the back of his head and shoulders, desperately feeling for his skin and trembling more as he found it.

With soft shooing Logan walked them towards the couch and on his way looked at Janus. Logan had it under control. Logan could handle Remus from here on and Janus understood. Sadly, he looked a last time to his friend and then sunk out to give Logan and Remus the time they needed figure the duke’s needs out.

Minute after minute passed and Remus slowly stopped crying. When he finally stopped, he tried to quickly pull away before Logan slowed him down and asked: “Do you wish for me to let go? I had the impression you were rather touch-starved but if you wish for me to let go, I will do so.”

“You-” Remus voice broke and he had to cough before he could speak again – “You don’t mind me holding you like this?”

Logan blinked confused and shook his head. With little thought he put his hand on Remus’s cheek, the duke instantly leaning against it and relaxing again.

“Physical affection is a basic need of most people, Remus. While we may not be people, Thomas has us modelled after them and we experience their needs to some degree as well. It is only logical for me to hold you if you need this. I want us all to function well and do not wish you any harm. You are important to Thomas even if have yet to understand you better. We have learnt how bad neglect can be with Virgil already and I do not wish to repeat past mistakes,” Logan explained quietly as Remus softly nuzzled himself again against Logan’s chest.

Remus made a small agreeing grunt and Logan smiled faintly as he felt Remus growing heavier against his chest. Rhythmically, he stroked over his back with his left, as he massaged Remus’s skull through his messy hair with his right. Logan would have him wash it soon, but for now he let Remus rest. Let him fall asleep on him and feeling oddly satisfied and warm being allowed to function as Remus’s pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus got to cuddle Logan! BAby got comfort!
> 
> Let's make the others a little jealous😏
> 
> Love y'all, please take care and have a wonderful day💖


	6. Chapter 6

When Janus came back into the living room, he did not know how to feel. Remus had chosen Logan over him. _Though who wouldn’t chose Logan over him?_

Quickly Janus shook his head to get the thought out of his head. He didn’t have time to pity himself. He should simply report how the encounter went and then leave. He wasn’t wanted anyway.

“What’s up with the frown, snake boy? Your head is still on your shoulders so everything went much better than expected,” Roman called and Janus had to concentrate to not flinch at his words.

Still somewhat taken aback he looked to Roman – That was a mistake. They looked too much alike. And right now, he could not take it.

“He’s mad. Logan is with him. I will retreat now,” Janus said and was gone.

Confused all three sides stared at the spot Janus had just stood a mere second ago before they exchanged a look. Patton sighed drew circles over Roman’s back. Roman glanced at him and then to Virgil, who looked down into his lap.

“Do you know what that was about? You’ve spent some time with them in the past so… uhm, would you know what is going on with him?” Patton asked sheepishly.

Virgil looked up and scratched the back of his neck. He had a feeling of why Janus was behaving the way he did. Even a suspicion why he had looked so mortified for a split second when he had looked at Roman.

“Don’t know for sure… I’m not so close with him anymore, you know.”

Patton gave him a doubtful look and Roman raised his eyebrows at the answer. Virgil cleared his throat. He didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want to think about how Remus possibly had tried to fight Janus, shoo him away, maybe even hurt him and what that had done to Janus. Of what it had remembered him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to dig my nose into something that is of no concern to me,” Patton pulled him out of his thoughts.

Panicked Virgil looked up and saw the dad side smile as if he wasn’t hurt by him keeping things from them and Roman looking at Patton with a sad expression. Damn it. They had just talked about better communication. About trying to make things easier for all of them.

And so, Virgil took a deep breath, fumbled with his hands and said: “I’m just not sure anymore if I have a right to act as if I knew them, Pat. Like, I was the one who left. I chose to go and Remus tried to break into my room, tried to convince me to stay and I shot him out. He wanted me when I was my worst and Janus did too and I chose to leave them nevertheless. I don’t think I have the right to say I know them anymore… Not after betraying their trust and all.”

There was silence for a moment. Then Patton put his arm on Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil looked up and saw the gentleness in Patton’s eyes.

“Oh kiddo,” he said so gently and Virgil felt a sob die in his throat, “I didn’t know you miss them so much. I am so sorry, I never noticed. They were your family, weren’t they?”

They were. Emphasis on _were_ , Virgil’s inner voice added helpfully and he began to sob. Patton’s arms were soon around him and he felt Roman’s hand on his shoulder just a second after.

“They were and now they’re not any- anymore. After what I did they cannot want me any- anymore,” Virgil whined into Patton’s cardigan.

“There, there. We all make mistakes. That’s what I just admitted, didn’t I? And you’ve changed since then. You know now to do better, don’t you?”

Virgil wasn’t sure. He had always fucked up. He still did. But it was true that he tried to do better now. He tried to work on his fears, to stop them from hurting others and had learnt how to deal with them, well at least on some of them.

“And they have changed too, you know. Maybe we can help you sort theses things out later. If you want to, of course,” Patton added and Virgil could not help himself but nod into Patton’s shoulder.

He didn’t deserve their comfort but he would let them comfort him for a bit longer. Then he could explain to them, what could possibly have been up with Janus and discuss what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gone! The next chapter is almost done for tomorrow so stay tuned!
> 
> Love y'all, please take care and have a wonderful day❤️


	7. Chapter 7

Remus was still sleeping. It was a miracle to Logan how the duke could seemingly still be comfortable in this position. Not that he was complaining.

While physical contact was a basic human need and Logan got that quite covered with Patton and Roman being around, he had to admit that lately he had desired more contact than usually. It wasn’t that Patton and Roman weren’t enough, no, he was just very used to them. He knew the textures of their clothes and hair, how they smelled and what form of contact they appreciated most from him.

Back when Virgil had joined them, Logan had hoped he could experience some new things, learn more, but the anxious side was very jumpy and got easily overwhelmed and flustered by almost anything. So, he had never been able to conduct any experiments with him, which still disappointed him greatly. But he didn’t want to cause stress to Virgil and thus respected his boundaries.

Which was why ~~he was very happy~~ it was fortunate that Remus was quite content with being held. He seemed to be in dire need of it, according to Logan’s observations and he looked at the side clinging to him. She did smell a bit, sweat and tears making the mixture quite depressing. His hair felt a little like Roman’s but not quite the same. Right now, it was oily and Logan’s eyes drifted down to his sleeping face. It was tranquil and made Logan feel heavy for some reasons. Like the thought of standing in a Greek temple, which had outlived thousands of years and would outlive him still. It was terrifying and consoling at the same time.

A flinch rippled through Remus’s body and Logan instinctively tightened his grip around him. Then Remus awoke with a gasp. Frantically, he looked around but he didn’t pull away from Logan. Then he stopped and slowly turned his face to look at him.

Logan’s eyes were really blue. Indigo really. Like Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Yes, dying would be okay now if he could look into those eyes forever. He would never have seen enough of them. It was really distracting.

But not distracting enough. Remus’s skin crawled and suddenly he was aware again of where he was and shivered.

“I don’t wanna be here anymore. I’ve been here too long.”

Remus’s hands were on Logan’s shoulders and he dug his fingers deep into the fabric as he saw Logan’s confusion for a second. Then there was something else in those very blue eyes and Remus didn’t like it. It looked worried, almost scared and he never liked scared all that much. He needed to make it better.

He put his hand on Logan’s cheek, caressed it. Furrowed his brows because he couldn’t understand what made Logan’s eyes afraid like that. It made him want to be anywhere else even more.

“Too red. Too golden. Too bright, Logan. I cannot stand it any longer,” Remus whined and suddenly the scared went away.

“You want to go leave this room?” Logan asked and put his hand over Remus’s on his cheek.

Remus nodded and Logan adjusted quickly.

“Then would my room be adequate? It’s not as bright as your and Roman’s room at the very least.”

Another nod and Remus pressed himself against Logan again who promptly sunk out and sunk into his room. He expected Remus to want out of his embrace and look around but the duke did nothing of the sorts and calmed in his arms once more. He really seemed to be tired.

“Remus, did you not sleep enough lately?” Logan asked and walked towards his couch to sit down once more.

Remus let go of his neck and Logan adjusted him so he now sat on his lap as he supported his back with one arm and held the fold of his knees with the other. Remus looked up to him with dopey eyes and blinked asynchronously.

“I don’t know. Sleep ’s hard. Everything ‘s hard. I’m very tired,” he mumbled and reached for Logan’s face again.

Logan watched him with furrowed brows. This was not what he had expected. But he would have to make do with it. With a snap he summoned a bottle of water and handed it to Remus. It took him a while to grab it but eventually he got it and drank rather eagerly until it was almost empty. Logan pressed his lips together and decided on a plan.

Determined he readjusted Remus a bit more in his lap so he sat a little straighter and told him: “Am I correct in the assumption that you have not eaten as well in a while?”

Remus nodded with a shrug and Logan sighed.

“Alright. Now, what do you want to do the most right now?”

“Sleep with you.”

“In which sense?”

“In any sense you’d like and let me, hottest Wolverine,” Remus retorted and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Noted,” Logan said unimpressed, “now where does eating stand on that list?”

Remus gave that a moment of consideration before he tried to snuggle again against Logan, who did not let him do this time. Pouting Remus told him: “Probably, after that, why’d you ask?”

“I have crofters and I will let you have some if you will take a shower and promise me to go to bed afterwards.”

Remus’s expression soured. Taking a shower sounded nice in theory but in praxis…

“What seems to be the problem?”

Maybe Logan could read minds Remus thought. Logan did not say anything and Remus thought that maybe he couldn’t read minds after all.

“I need to undress myself.”

Logan frowned and nodded slowly.

“I’d have to put the clothes somewhere so they don’t lie on your floor, because that would be rude,” Remus explained further already getting tired again, “and then I would have to climb into your shower and turn on the shower just to turn it off again and adjust the heat and then I’d stand under the water and make the water go everywhere, turn the shower off again and use shampoo and shower gel and then I turn the shower on again and need to rub all of it out and I’d have to do so many more things and just talking about it makes me want to die. I can’t do that. It’s too much.”

Logan blinked. That was not the answer that he had expected. Again, Remus proved himself to be full of surprises and Logan started to find it quite exhilarating. Another moment passed and Logan had found a possible compromise to their situation.

“If I were to assist you and we were to cut some steps, would you agree to take a quick bath?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy _"Almost Christmas" means it wasn't Christmas!_ for all the Ace Attorney fans out there!
> 
> Please take care, know I love y'all and have a wonderful day❤️


	8. Chapter 8

After a few innuendos and Logan shooting all of them down, Remus had agreed to Logan’s proposal and the two men went into Logan’s bathroom. Logan prepared the bath as Remus sat down on the closed toilet seat and slowly slipped out of his shirt. Even this proved to be way harder than it usually was. Remus really had lost his edge, hadn’t he?

“Very good job with your t-shirt. May I take off your socks?” Logan said.

Remus eyed him and gave slight nod. Almost delicately Logan pulled off his socks and put them and the white t-shirt, which he took out of Remus’s hand, orderly on the counter under the sink. Then he stood up again and walked to the bathtub to check the temperature of the water. Slowly Remus got on his feet and slipped out of his underpants. He threw it on the rest of the clothing pile and walked next to Logan.

Wordlessly, Logan offered Remus his arm and helped him lower himself into the bathtub. He had let in a bubble bath. It smelled like lavender Remus let himself get soaked in the water. Logan had said that Remus being nude was nothing he had never seen before. Which was true, but still he had thought that he’d be more prude.

“Were you always so cool?”

Logan raised his eyebrows. He sat on a stool next to the bathtub and looked down at him, since he had refused to join Remus in the water.

“I don’t follow?” Logan asked and Remus pushed a few bubbles around in the water.

“Were you always so cuddly and fine with nudity?”

“Yes. Patton would tell you that I did not know about personal space at all and had to lecture me on decency and tactfulness quite bit,” Logan said with an eyeroll and saw a few bubbles fly as Remus giggled.

Remus lifted his hand out of the water and held it out for Logan to take it. As he did Remus looked up to him and said: “That’s fun. Janus always complained about my style. Roman too but that didn’t matter. Janus matters though. And Virgil does too, you know? He used to find it funny when we were kids. He used to like me. But then he wanted to change and we couldn’t go with him, because we weren’t ready and I got mad at him and now he hates us. And now Janus is gone too… Because he’s ready to change. Because he can change. And I cannot. Because I am change in a way. As Creativity it’s my job to change and form new things and it leaves no place for stagnation. But because of it, it cannot settle. Cannot be still. And change cannot change, can it? I won’t ever be ready and now I am alone. And being alone makes my head hurt a lot.”

Logan did not say anything to that. Not because he had nothing to say about it, he had to say a lot about it, but because Remus did not seem ready to take any of his responses in. Instead, he squeezed his hand and told him to sit up a bit so he could help him scrub his back. The duke complied and hummed to himself. After a while Logan noticed how Remus grew quieter. How he leaned more against his touch and realized that he was about to fall asleep again.

Cautiously, Logan shook him a little and he would let out the water now and shower him off. Remus nodded and Logan pulled the plug and then helped Remus to wash of the bubbly water on his skin, before he helped him get out of the shower again. He handed him a soft towel so he could dry himself off.

“Can I have a shirt from you?”

Logan looked at the Remus’s tired face, his sleepy expression and cleared his throat. With a snap he held a black t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts in his hand and gave them to the sleepy Duke. Slowly but surely Remus dried himself off and put the clothes on, stopping a few times to smell at the fabric.

He the t-shirt was too big on him. Just too wide and Logan caught himself thinking that he looked cute, before the next thought came and said that he needed to check if Remus needed to eat a little more. With a sigh Logan then led him upstairs, deciding that he would give him something to eat in bed as he seemed tired enough to just fall asleep then and there. Remus did not complain and was soon sitting in Logan’s bed watching as Logans sat down on the foot end of the bed and watched him.

“Where’re you gonna sleep?” Remus asked before Logan could inquire anything else.

“I planned on sleeping on the couch after I would check in with the others. Your brother needs to be informed about your whereabouts,” Logan explained and saw Remus expression turning sad. “Or would you not want them to know about your whereabouts? Or is there something else which disturbs you?”

Remus looked down to his lap and his hands clenched the blanket on his legs as he asked: “Can you not sleep with me?”

Logan frowned. He had thought that he had been clear enough about the sexual intercourse talk. And Remus was far too tired to truly think they should sleep together. Unless-

“Literal sleeping with you in one bed?” Logan asked carefully.

Almost shyly Remus looked up. Faintly he nodded and Logan found himself smiling a teeny tiny bit.

“We can do that,” Logan agreed and almost fell backwards from the bed when Remus launched himself at him.

The surprise let Logan chuckle and he patted Remus’s back softly rocking him. While the circumstances were less than ideal, somehow Logan found himself enjoying this quite a bit. Being able to offer comfort, to be helpful and feel unfiltered gratitude for his help.

Gently he pulled away from Remus again and said stroking his cheek: “But first I’ll give you something to eat and will quickly talk to the others. Then I will be right back and we will go to sleep. Is that alright with you?”

Remus pouted but when Logan summoned a jar of crofters, some toast and some pickle water, which was Remus’s favourite beverage and set them down on the night table, Remus gave in. Maybe he could wait for a little bit longer before he would sleep comfortably with this nerdy sweetheart.

He grabbed the crofters and opened it, as Logan squeezed his arm lightly and said he would now go for a moment. Remus only nodded and took a the spoon to put some crofters on his toast. Sloppily he started eating. Several times to had to fight to keep his eyes open but he was determined to finish this toast and his pickle water, so Logan would have nothing to say and stop them from going to bed. He wanted him to be happy with him, he realized and put the empty pickle water class on the nightstand. He blinked a few times.

Toothpaste.

Maybe brushing his teeth would be a good idea. Maybe Logan would like that. And so, Remus got up to brush his teeth for Logan. And a little for himself because pickle-breath didn’t smell so nice, not even to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey! Say your loved ones you love them and take a break. You deserve it.
> 
> Love y'all, please take care and have a wonderful day❤️


	9. Chapter 9

Logan found the others in the living room. Well, Patton, Roman and Virgil at least. Janus was not here anymore and Logan thought that that was quite the lucky coincidence. It probably was better if he could discuss this first with them before he would address Janus on a separate occasion.

“Logan?” he was greeted by Patton and nodded towards the Dad side.

Then Logan finally noticed the gloomy look in Virgil’s face. Well, the even gloomier look than usual to be precise. Roman was sitting left to him and had his arm slung around his shoulder as Patton stood up from Virgil’s right side and gave Logan a once over.

“Did something happen? Are you alright, Virgil?” Logan asked now slowly getting worried and exchanged a look with Patton.

Patton pressed his lips together, looked back to Virgil and then motioned Logan to sit down with them. Logan followed suit, sat down next to Patton and waited patiently what they had to say to him.

“First things first,” Roman broke the silence and Logan turned towards him, “is my brother okay? Have you managed to calm him down?”

“Affirmative. I wanted to tell you that he requested to sleep in my room tonight and I agreed to it. I hope this is agreeable with you?”

Roman sighed and nodded relieved, which broke the tension in the room a little more.

A little jittery Virgil cleared his throat and began to talk next: “Janus kinda fled the scene after he came back from Remus’s room, which is why he isn’t here right now. And, uh, I think he did that because the last time Remus freaked out like this was probably after I had left them. And that probably didn’t sit well with him.”

Logan was not surprised to hear as much. He really should have expected it considering the things Remus had mentioned to him before. With a solemn look Logan nodded to signalize his understanding and motioned for Virgil to continue.

“I, uh, think, we might need to include Remus more if we want Janus to feel better. They’re... you know – close and stuff,” Virgil said sounding awfully embarrassed.

Logan raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Of course, they have a close relationship. They have been the only Dark Sides for months and have known each other since Remus exists. It would be concerning if they didn’t have a close relationship at this point in time.”

Virgil opened his mouth to specify for Logan what kind of close relationship he was talking about but got stopped by Roman, who just rolled his eyes and shook his head at Logan’s blatant oversight. Logan chose to ignore any of the antics and instead adjusted the glasses on his nose and thought about what kind of information he was going to divulge next. He probably needed to be careful with the information Remus had given him.

“Yet I agree with your proposal, Virgil,” Logan slowly confirmed and put his hand on Virgil’s wrist.

Patton was about to scold Logan for forgetting boundaries again as Logan simply continued talking: “Remus did seem to feel very upset about Janus’s departure. As well as yours, I might want to add. And allowing him to reconnect with the two of you together with the rest of us, will most likely bring the best results to eliminate his worries. So, a group activity would be a good way to start reconnecting.”

Virgil gulped. He tried not to focus on the surprisingly firm grip around his wrist, which was so pleasantly sending tingling spikes through his whole arm. He really needed to focus on Logan’s words and how he had said that Remus missed him too and not how that made him feel guilty and weird and excited all at the same time.

“Uhm yeah… I guess we can try that?” Virgil mumbled.

Logan shot him a tiny smile and turned his attention towards Patton and asked him if they could arrange to bake together the next day. Virgil didn’t hear anything of their conversation as he tried to not inwardly explode because of the smile Logan had just shot him and the hand which was still sending shivers through his whole body.

And at once Logan’s hand was pulled away and Virgil involuntarily made a chirping sound. He clapped his hand over his mouth feeling himself blush heavily. Luckily (or sadly? Did Virgil want him to know?!) Logan didn’t notice as he had already turned away to get back into his room. Had Virgil missed him telling them goodnight? Logan always said goodnight to them before he left and now, he was leaving and Virgil had missed his moment to say goodnight to him and-

“Goodnight to you all. I will be back with Remus now.”

Patton waved Logan goodbye and Roman wished him a relaxed goodnight as he eyed Virgil mumbling a goodnight as well. Then Logan was gone and the three sides sat there in silence for a few moments.

“I am surprised that he did not hear you chirp, Virge,” Patton deadpanned after a moment and Virgil groaned painfully.

Roman broke into a giggle as Patton softly patted Virgil’s shoulder to comfort the poor guy. It didn’t really help Virgil much but he appreciated Patton’s effort unlike the teasing comments Roman had to offer.

“You’ve got it so bad for our teach! It’s amazing how you froze when he barely touched your wrist, man.”

Virgil just glimpsed through his fingers to give Roman a rather ineffective glare, as his embarrassment was still far too visible and caused Roman to chuckle even more. This was entirely unfair. They were both completely immune to Logan’s very obvious charm and could not understand how painfully _attractive_ Logan’s smile and mere presence could be.

“Aaagh!” Virgil moaned once more thinking of the look on Logan’s face as he talked about Remus and the smile, he shot him and said he that he agreed with him.

Over Virgil’s agony Patton shot Roman a questioning look. The Prince simply shrugged and began to calm Virgil down from his embarrassment by telling him that having a crush was not the end of the world and that he needn’t fright over his feelings being discovered.

It took a while for Virgil to stop hiding his face but eventually Roman had talked for a long enough period of time that he had gotten himself under control and decided to leave to get into his room. He didn’t tell Roman that he was not worried about his feelings being discovered. He was far more worried about them not being requited and by the tone Logan had spoken about Remus or Janus he probably had lost his chances anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! I don't know why so many people found this fic but welcome!
> 
> Kudos, bookmarks and especially comments are appreciated if you got the time^^
> 
> Love y'all, please take care and have a wonderful day<3


	10. Chapter 10

Logan was back in his room and walked up to his bedroom. Pleasantly surprised, he found Remus sitting on his bed, eyes droopy and smile wide as he saw him enter. For a second Logan was going to inform Remus that they were going to do the next day but decided against it. The side needed his sleep and he was not going to get it if he would bring this up right now.

“I brushed my teeth,” Remus said with a huge smile.

Logan clicked his tongue and nodded in with a sense of pride shining through his movements.

“That is very good, Remus,” Logan told him and walked up to the bed sitting down on one end as Remus observed closely despite his sleepiness. “I will get ready for bed myself and join you now. Is that alright with you?”

Remus nodded and kept eyeing Logen. He got up, loosened his tie and laid it orderly on his dresser. Then he got out of his shoes, placed them neatly next to the dresser, pulled his shirt over his head, folded it and put it next to the tie, loosened his belt and did the same with his pants. Remus could not keep himself from watching him undress and move so casually and yet professionally. It was like magic to Remus and he hoped that it would never stop. That he could just keep looking at Logan with this empty head and peaceful feeling in his chest.

But it didn’t last, as Logan put on his long-sleeved navy pyjamas and then walked back to his bed. Remus just smiled until Logan cleared his throat and Remus finally caught on to something in Logan’s demeanour that resembled discomfort. With a frown he tilted his head and motioned Logan to tell him what was up. There came another throat clear before Logan finally settled on an answer.

“Which side do you prefer to sleep on?”

Remus frowned more. This didn’t seem like the question he wanted to ask nor the question he was so nervous about. Which meant that Remus was now very curious what Logan was afraid off and let him wake up considerably.

Not quite as energetic as usually but much more forceful than previously today Remus said: “I don’t know yet! I first need to have you on the bed as well, so I can see how you fit best in my arms.”

Remus had assumed that his proposal would get a reaction out of Remus. He hadn’t assumed that his eyes would widen in surprise and his hands fidget at the suggestion. It was not that he was uncomfortable though. No, the idea didn’t repulse him but threw him completely into a loop. And Remus did not enjoy watching that. So, he skidded back on the bed and vividly patted to the spot next to him for Logan to sit down on.

Hesitantly, Logan followed and sat down on the bed after he had switched the big light off. Expectantly Remus watched him next take off his glasses and put them on the nightstand before he cleared his throat anew and tried to ask something.

He didn’t get the words out, as Remus put his arms over his chest and pulled him down on the pillows. Possessively, he draped his right leg over Logan’s and pressed himself against Logan’s side. That cuddly attack got a laugh out of Logan and Remus happily pulled him even closer.

Logan moved a little bit around and turned off the lamp on the nightstand before he let himself completely relax in Remus’s embrace and cover them with his comforter. Moments passed and Logan was very aware of the fact that Remus’s fingers were tracing lines between his soft chest and his round belly. He liked the feeling but it also made him aware how big he was and how much place he took of the bed. He didn’t want Remus to feel squished or uncomfortable next to him.

“Please inform me if you are uncomfortable lying beside me or if I accidentally squish you,” Logan eventually settled on whispering.

He didn’t expect the laugher tickling his neck and instinctively felt his hand tightening on the small of Remus’s back before he could stop himself from doing so.

“Oh, Logie,” Remus slurred and brought his mouth close to Logan’s ear, “you’re not too fat. You're soft and warm and very, very comfortable to cuddle with. You're not smashing me like a tomato, not that I could burst like one anyway. So, it wouldn’t be fun, ya know? Bursting I mean.”

Remus waited. Gradually, Logan relaxed. His shoulders stopped being tense and he began to let his hands wander over Remus’s back until one rested on his neck and the other in Remus’s hair. Softly he scratched the skin and Remus began to drift off with a loopy grin. Logan’s heartbeat was soothing. Everything about this was soothing. Being able to hold Logan was wonderful. Having him holding him back was breath-taking.

It was almost too good to be true, Remus thought letting out a little wince. Reflexively he buried his head on Logan’s soft chest and felt the logical trait shift beneath him. Despite his tired state sleep hadn’t taken Remus yet and he felt how Logan lifted his head in the darkness as if he wanted to look at him.

There was a pause, Remus felt how Logan’s chest was rising as if he was taking a deep breath before he would start to speak. His impression had been right.

“Is this an activity you and Janus have performed together in the past?”

Logan’s voice was even. Almost professional. But Remus felt something uneasy wafting off his Logan and adjusted his head a little on Logan’s chest. He furrowed his brows in the dark and started thinking about the question. Not if it was true or not, he knew that. But why Logan would ask such a thing.

“Nah, Jan is not the cuddly type,” Remus mumbled and let his left hand rest on Logan’s chest close to his own face. “What brings the question? You’re not one to pry.”

Logan swallowed and Remus lifted his head as if he was watching him.

“I did not mean to overstep any boundaries. I apolo-”

“What is it teach? You’re not asking what you want to ask and the thought’s making you restless.”

Another pause before Logan put one hand on Remus’s and took another deep breath.

“Virgil hinted at the fact that you and Janus were an “item” figuratively speaking. Romantically, I assumed. And you and I sleeping like this could possibly worsen your relationship with him, which would not be beneficial for any of us.”

“… Lo, I wish I had a thing with Janus but the guy is also Denial, so that’s not something you need to worry about.”

Remus’s voice grew mellower and Logan felt how he slowly put his head on his chest again. He was really falling asleep now but Logan’s questions weren’t answered quite yet and he really needed an answer right now.

“But Virgil…” he tried quietly and heard Remus softly giggle before he felt his breath against his skin.

“It’s sweet that he worries,” Remus slurred the words. “He always worried about us. I liked it, even though it was annoying sometimes. Don’t think though that he still worries about us like that. Not anymore… But I’m not against trying and getting on their good side again, Lo… You’ll be able to pull it off with me, I think… You’re just right for them and me… It’ll be fine, my bug…”

The stream of words stopped tripling from Remus’s mouth. Logan’s heart was pounding wildly as Remus had switched into a peaceful slumber. Now there was nothing for Logan to do but lay here and hope that somehow, he would be able to fall asleep. His thoughts were racing but not clear enough to notice how the weight of Remus on him slowly lulled him into sleep and let him forget about the feelings blooming within him for the next few hours.


End file.
